Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Mr. Hendrickson Goes to Washington

In the latest episode of HBO's Big Love, Mormon polygamist Bill Hendrickson (played by Bill Paxton) travels to the Nation's Capital to make some political inroads. After arriving in D.C., he is joined by wife number two, Nikki, and her daughter. As Nikki and her daughter walk thru Union Station upon arriving in D.C., Nikki gives her teenage daughter the following guidance:

This is a dangerous city. It may not look like it is, but it is. These people may seem like they're normal, but they're not. There are some neighborhoods you can't imagine. Just stick by my side at all times. Don't flash any money. Don't talk to strangers. And, don't let anyone proposition you.

As a native of the National Capital Area, I'd like to address Nikki's concerns.

This is a dangerous city. It may not look like it is, but it is.
It's not as dangerous as is it used to be. I mean the District isn't averaging 1.25 murders a day anymore like it did in 1991. And, you can't readily find a hooker on 14th St. nowadays. At least that's what I hear. Hell, the most dangerous part of the city is probably Capitol Hill. Over that way, you never when you're going to get hit by the BS flying from the 535 a-holes who call the Capitol their workplace.

These people may seem like they're normal, but they're not.
I think I agree. Folks around here are overly concerned about themsleves, their job, and they generally don't give a crap about too much outside their own little universe. Yes, that's a sweeping generalization, but this is my blog and it's about me, me, me.

There are some neighborhoods you can't imagine.
Every city has its bad 'hoods, but how in the hell did this area get cursed with Clarendon?

Just stick by my side at all times. Don't flash any money. Don't talk to strangers. And, don't let anyone proposition you.
Nowadays, who has any money to flash? Unless of course, you take some of those strangers up on their propositions!

Toward the end of the episode, Nikki gets busted for having a gun in her purse. Anyone who has been following the Gilbert Arenas saga would know having a firearm in the District is a giant no-no. But somehow in TV land, Bill is able to talk the police out of pressing charges against Nikki. Maybe Gilbert and Javaris Crittenten think they're living in TV land. Oh wait, they are NBA players.

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