Thursday, January 15, 2009

What Shedd Knows that Apparently the Nationals Don't

I read this morning Nationals OF Elijah "Put Up Your" Dukes owes his estranged wife NiShea Dukes over $40,000 in back child support. Dukes was in court in Tampa yesterday and was given until January 23rd to pay up or face 90 days in jail.

Dukes has kept his nose (and hopefully, his "bat") relatively clean since he landed in D.C. last spring. Yes, there was the excessive celebration problem against the Mets and the yelling match with Nats' manager Manny Acta, but in the entire scheme of thing, those flare ups are minor compared to him sending a picture of a gun to estranged wife's cell phone with the caption "you dead dawg".

In regards to Dukes court appearance, Nats GM Jim Bowden released a statement saying the Nationals have "kept abreast of Elijah Dukes' financial situation through his advisors, agents and attorneys." With that said, either Dukes or the Nationals should hire me as an "advisor" and here is why.

Apparently, no one involved in this situation has heard the words "wage garnishment". Having been the controller of a pest control company for 18 months, I had the displeasure of withholding plenty of child support from plenty of paychecks. There aren't too many industries with more shady characters than the pest control industry and a lot of those guys acted as if the never heard of the words "rubber", "raincoat", "jim hat" or "condom". In fact, I wish I had dollar for each time I got a complaint about one of those garnishments that was followed by a sentence that started with "my baby's mama" and ended with a word that begins with a "b".

So, my beloved Nationals, take my advice and get over your fear of Elijah Dukes ripping the front office apart and just withhold the child support directly from his paycheck. We'll all be better for it.


  1. Showing my ignorance here, but ...

    Does the CBA include provisions for wage garnishment?

  2. Good question. But, if the court were to impose one, which is what I've seen dozens of times, the team would legally bound to collect it.

  3. According to the Post today, the Nats were garnishing his wages. However, baseball salaries are only paid between April and September, so Dukes hasn't been receiving any income for several months. It's certainly something his agents & lawyers should have anticipated though.

  4. It's interesting The Post now says the last payment Dukes made was in September. Thursday, they reported NiShea hadn't rec'd anything since last April.